Everywhere you turn, there is another decision to be made? In fact, decision or choice-making is part of everyday life. If you are alive and conscious, then every day, day in and day out, week after week, month after month, year after year there are choices/decisions to be made.
Think about it: the minute you wake up, you must decide: “Am I going to get up now or later?” Okay so you decide to get up…what now? ” Am I going to take a shower right away or should I go and let the dog out first?” So, you decide to let the dog out. So you see, there are constantly choices/decisions to be made; every day starting from the moment you wake up until when you finally fall asleep.
Many of us including kids and young adults today don’t have solid problem-solving skills. Faced with a challenge, teens often lack the ability to generate and evaluate options for change. They often wait for adults to point them in the right direction, or worse, to solve problems for them. This does little for their personal growth or maturity. Learning to problem solve, on the other hand, encourages numerous related skills that empower kids and foster independence.
How are decisions and/or choices made?
You make certain decisions or choices because you have a certain need whether you’re conscious of it or not. Needs can, for example, be physical (you’re hungry, thirsty, tired), emotional (you’re feeling afraid, unloved, angry, stressed, unsure ), social (you’re feeling lonely, you’re missing your friends or you want to have fun), economic (to get spending money you decide to get a part-time job), cultural (you’re feeling isolated from others who share your background), etc.
The decisions that YOU make are directly related to the need YOU have, how important it is for YOU to satisfy this need and, of course, what YOU want to get out of it. How you go about making the decision and what decision you end up making depends on:
| A The type of person you are. Do you think about your decision or do you do things impulsively or, then again, do you just simply follow the crowd? B Your likes and dislikes C Your values – what’s worthwhile and desirable to you D Your beliefs E Your knowledge – the facts and the information the way you know them |
Teaching a “Problem-Solving” model. There are six basic steps to any decision-making model, though you can certainly tweak the steps to fit a particular circumstance or population. Some simpler problems may allow you to streamline the process, while more complex issues can benefit from the structure that this model provides.
- Define the problem and set a goal for change. This is the opportunity to verbalize what you would like to see happen. Try to be as clear as possible. The best goals are specific and measurable: For example, “Raise my Math grade to an 80” is much more helpful than “Do better in Math.” Write it down so you have a constant reminder of what you are working towards.
- Brainstorming options. Come up with as many different ideas for attacking the problem as you can. This is the time to think outside the box. Don’t stop to evaluate or criticize suggestions: the purpose of this step is to generate a free-flowing exchange of suggestions. Ideas for the above goal might include things like: Get extra help from the teacher. Get a math tutor. Increase studying time. Get a study partner. Ask for study guides. Put all the choices down on paper.
- Evaluate options. Go back over each suggestion and take a second look. Is this idea feasible? What would I need to do to make this happen? Are there constraints (time, resources, etc.) that limit the possibility of this working? For example: the family budget might not allow for a tutor, but what about a study partner? Are there ways to broaden, tweak, or combine good suggestions to make them better?
- Deciding a plan of action. Choose the options you think will work best and formulate an action plan. Include the specific steps you will take for each choice. For example, if one piece of the action plan is “Increase studying to one hour a night,” making a targeted plan about when, where, and how you will study might be helpful. Include a timeline with your action plan so you know when it’s time to evaluate how things are going.
- Evaluation and Modification. Assess how things are going. Is there steady progress toward your goal? Do changes need to be made in the plan? This is the time to revise the plan, if necessary. Cut out things that aren’t helping, and possibly revisit the list made in the brainstorming step to see if you want to add anything new. Continue to evaluate and modify until the goal is reached.
Do you sometimes wish you had made a different choice?
Depending on the outcome of the decision or choice that you made, it’s normal to feel that you should/could have made a better choice. Try to make the best of the situation even if it’s somewhat painful but YOU can resolve to improve the way YOU make decisions.
Think of your decisions as temporary bridges to the next step in your life. If things don’t work out because of your decision, think of what you will have learned. Think of how this will help you make better decisions in the future. Think beyond the present. What is the worst that could go wrong, and would you be able to live with that scenario? If that did happen, then what would you do next? If you can’t live with a potential outcome, then don’t choose that option.